OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my being single is dangerous.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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