Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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