he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize