fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
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i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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