is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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