wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize