he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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