I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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