Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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