I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
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she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize