At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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