Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Porn is love you can see.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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