also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize