I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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