I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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