Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize