I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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