I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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