my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it was like eating out sand paper
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
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Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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