I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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