It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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