Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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