It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize