I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize