Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize