god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize