she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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