Me. At least after what I've been through.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize