Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize