Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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