I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize