Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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