Me too!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
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When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
be right there i have to get my cape
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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