You made me cry and you don't even care
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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