Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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