A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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