he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
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I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the raccoons are back...
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