time to smoke my breakfast
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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