i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize