The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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