Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize