there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize