had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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