I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize