Sry I called you an 8
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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