Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize