Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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