she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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