Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize