to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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